so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
