Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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