So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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