Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
