Sponge bath it is.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We're too hungover to prance.
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