Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
no, he came in my armpit
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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