Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
