i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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