I showed him my bush... on skype.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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