Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
