Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
