I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you win again, gameday.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
