it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
