I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
