I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
