I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
