He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
