Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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