thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
