his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
