honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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