i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
