my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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