Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
