I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
