I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Are we still banned from the library?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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