I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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