okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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