I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Randomize
