I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
