sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
