Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
