Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
