areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
