You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
