You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
