mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
