my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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