Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Houston, we have a squirter
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
