VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
