omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
