He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
