Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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