OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
