She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
