Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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