I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
