ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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