I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
