batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
