you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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