and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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