he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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