I cockslap morals
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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